Archive for January, 2009

My Greatest Fear…

Posted in Uncategorized on January 27, 2009 by kulturalguerilla

So for the past few years, I can’t help but feel that despite all the good work I put in for the community, the places I’ve traveled to, and all the things I’ve been able to accomplish, there’s a certain emptiness that has never been filled. Perhaps my greatest flaw is putting the happiness and well being of others before my own, but with little or no regard to that of my own. There’s a certain celebration of my work, my accomplishments, and my ambitions, that I feel can only be greater when it is shared intimately. In a way, like those who were denied a childhood, I have unintentionally denied myself of the happiness that comes with an intimate companion. I may have been too nice that I’ve let that opportunity to have that kind of love go right past me, too many times.

I’m seeing those I care about dearly beginning their lives as partners and/or as parents. No doubt, I am very happy for each and everyone of them, but I say that with contradiction because at the same time, I’m very jealous of that kind of intimate relationship I haven’t been able to experience. Beyond all my ambitions; doctorate degree, traveling the world, ending imperialism, etc., my ultimate ambition is to be happy with my soul mate (whoever she may be) and start a family of my own. And the thought of not attaining that ambition and end up dying alone is my greatest fear. Fuck it if sound all emo and shit, hopefully I can draw strength from this moment of vulnerability.


To My People

Posted in Uncategorized on January 12, 2009 by kulturalguerilla

I just got back from a long and fruitful retreat I had with PEP (Pin@y Educational Partnerships), a service learning collaborative teaching pipeline, in which I’m one of the teachers at City College of San Francisco. I won’t go into much detail about what we did at the retreat, but there was one ontological moment for me. We did an exercise in which we had to come up with vision and mission statements for the respective classes we teach, but to do it in the form of poetry. Every word that is in this poem I’m about to share came straight from the vulnerability of my soul, and carries on in my life beyond teaching, in my art and in my community organizing.

To My People

The earth, our lifeline, held the roots
So we could rise to the sky
And bask in the golden rays of the sun

Our lifeline, cut away with the strokes of cultural genocide
Because our destinies didn’t fit the mold
500 years of blindness
Only allowed to see the history and destiny
Force fed into our being
Not being able to see beyond
The crimson blood of our ancestors that blindfolds us

Red for the stoplight to our progress
Red for the blood spilt in the genocide of our ancestors
Red for the red flag whenever we engage outside of the norm
Red for the red light districts to satisfy the sexual hunger of the oppressors

It is not until we wipe away the blood that blinds our eyes
That we begin to see the truth about the color red

Red is for the blood spilt of our ancestors
Who died to give rise to our existence
Red is for that same blood that fertilizes our land
Making it that much more precious and sacred to defend
Red is for the warning sign that change needs to happen
Red is for the red pill we must take
To unplug our minds from the matrix of hegemony

Because red is the prominent color of every revolution
Because red is the color that flows through our bodies
Because red the color that allows us
To make the images we make together as a community…


This was long overdue, but it’s finally here!

Posted in Uncategorized on January 3, 2009 by kulturalguerilla

So first off, if you are reading this, thanks for showing interest in this new outlet I’m taking! I’ve been wanting to do a blog for a really long time, just like I wanted to get back into dancing for a long time. So just like I made the time to bring dance back in my life, I’m now making the time to write, along with several other goals I’ve made for the new year. One of the main ways I’ll be writing more is through this blog. It’s still under construction, but I’ll be using this as a space to politic about social justice from a global perspective, to review music/bring musical nostalgia, to rave and rant about the dance scene and community, my devopment in liberation theology, and whatever else can be expressed in this crazy mind I have as cartharsis.

Which brings me to this blog’s title-for-now. “Cast off what is useless” is a philosophy of the legendary martial artist Bruce Lee. He is one of my greatest influences in many aspects of my life, from art to work ethic. This will be my mantra for 2009, physically, emotionally, and mentally. 2008 was a great year, but I tended to carry excess baggage in the three areas i just mentioned. I also added to the title, “Utilize what is useful.” And so I’ll be doing and working on things this year that will be useful not just to me, but to the community as well, this blog being one of them. So some of my goals for 2009 are:

Get into a Ph.D. program by 2009, whether it be USF, Rutgers, UH, or UCI.

Bring in more focus in my community organizing, rather than having responsibilities in the many organizations I belong to.

Do shows, create pieces, start dance projects that are based on social consciousness.

Live a more green lifestyle.

Live a cleaner, healthier lifestyle physically, mentally, and spiritually.

And above all, putting the same love, labor, and energy that I put to serving the people into my own well-being. I’ve neglected my own happiness and well-being for too long, for the sake that everyone I care about is taken care of first.

Doing this blog is useful to me because I want the community and whoever else reads this to hold me accountable to the goals I set for myself and the words I say, so can constantly be better in serving the people, and never forgetting that I’m part of the people as well.

Oh, and by the way, HAPPY 2009 ERRRBODY!